As a fan of storytelling in games, I must say, you write REALLY WELL, truly excellent. I loved the narrative presented here, and what’s even more impressive is that it fits perfectly and naturally with the theme.
Since this is a visual novel, I don’t think I have much to suggest in terms of gameplay, maybe just some sound effects to make the atmosphere richer and the story more immersive. Perhaps a typewriter effect could increase the tension, along with sound effects tied to what we’re reading at specific moments in the narrative (but of course, with an option to reveal the entire text at once for more impatient readers).
The art definitely played a huge role in the immersion, as it’s fantastic. I’d say it was one of the most stylish games I’ve played in the past few jams I’ve participated in.
Overall, a great visual novel with a captivating story that balances beautifully and enchantingly between well-crafted writing and the brutality it represents in its lines. Congratulations on the game and good luck with the jam!